


8 Ways To Say "I Love You"

by ohhhkenneth



Category: GOT7
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love, M/M, Romance, Writing Exercise, but mostly markson, idol, jark, kpop, markson, other ships too, prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-27 05:23:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16696249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohhhkenneth/pseuds/ohhhkenneth
Summary: A compilation of one-shots that I've written, using the famous prompts from the 8 Ways To Say I Love You article.I've seen a number of people do these, and it's so fun and interesting to see the different ways people write the prompts, and the different plot outcomes and twists they put on them.I'm interested to see where my creativity brings me with these as I add my own spin on them. I'll be using mostly GOT7, since they're my favorite, and I'll write around the Markson ship mostly.





	1. Prompt 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Spit it into her voicemail, a little slurred and sounding like the shot whiskey you downed for courage. Feel as ashamed as you do walking into work in last night’s clothes. Wake up cringing for days, waiting for her to mention it.
> 
> ♦
> 
> 2\. Sigh it into her mouth, wedged in between teeth and tongues. Don’t even let your lips move when you say it, ever so lightly, into the air. Maybe it was just an exhalation of ecstasy.
> 
> ♦
> 
> 3\. Buy her flowers. Buy her chocolate. Buy her a teddy bear, because that’s what every romantic comedy has taught you. Take her out to a nice restaurant where neither of you feel comfortable and spend the whole night clearing your throat and tugging at your tie. Feel like your actions are more suited to a proposal than the simple confession of something you’ve always known.
> 
> ♦
> 
> 4\. Whisper it into her hair in the middle of the night, after you’ve counted the space between her breaths and are certain she’s asleep. Shut your eyes quickly when she shifts toward you in askance. Maybe you were just sleep whispering.
> 
> ♦
> 
> 5\. Blurt it out in the middle of an impromptu dance party in the kitchen, as clumsy as your two left feet. When time seems to freeze, hastily tack on “in that shirt” or “when you make your award-winning meatballs” or, if you are feeling particularly brave, “when we do this.” Resume dancing and pretend you don’t feel her eyes on you the rest of the night.
> 
> ♦
> 
> 6\. Write her a letter in which the amount of circumnavigating and angst could rival Mr. Darcy’s. Debate where to leave it all day – on her pillow? In her coat pocket? Throw it away in frustration, conveniently leaving it face up in the trashcan, her name scrawled on the front in your sloppy handwriting. Let her wonder if you meant it.
> 
> ♦
> 
> 7\. Wait until something terrible has happened and you can’t not tell her anymore. Wait until she almost gets hit by a car crossing Wabash against the light and after you are done cursing at the shit-for-brains cab drivers in this city, realize you are actually just terrified of living without her. Tell her with your hands shaking.
> 
> ♦
> 
> 8\. Say it deliberately, your tongue a springboard for every syllable. Over coffee, brushing your teeth side-by-side, as you turn off the light to go to sleep – it doesn’t matter where. Do not adorn it with extra words like “I think” or “I might.” Do not sigh heavily as if admitting it were a burden instead of the most joyous thing you’ve ever done. Look her in the eyes and pray, heart thumping wildly, that she will turn to you and say, “I love you too.”

` 1. Spit it into his voicemail, a little slurred and sounding like the shot whiskey you downed for courage. Feel as ashamed as you do walking into work in last night’s clothes. Wake up cringing for days, waiting for him to mention it. `

 

⇔

 

“Please tell me he’s coming tonight, Jackson.”

Jackson exhaled softly into the microphone, “Trust me, JB, I wish. But… no, not tonight. He has stay at the hospital tonight, his grandma is getting worse. She has pneumonia.”

Jaebum sounded almost more disappointed than Jackson upon hearing that, “You have been dating Mark for two months now and I have still only seen him in pictures and SnapChats. When am I ever going to meet this guy? He must be something else, I mean, he managed to get your attention.”

“I know. I know.” Jackson groaned, “Let’s just have fun tonight alright? BamBam’s parties are always insane. Maybe I’ll get drunk enough to forget how much I wish Mark was coming.”

“Deal.” JB laughed back. “Whiskey it is!”

When JB pulled up, Jackson was on the phone waiting patiently outside the apartment.

“Alright, I’ll text you later. Yes, I’ll be safe, don’t worry about me.” He was whispering into his phone, smiling from ear to ear. “I miss you too. Hope her condition improves. Text you later, k.”

JB grinned but didn’t say anything right away, already knowing who Jackson was flirting with on the phone.

“K, see ya. Bye.” Jackson finally hung the phone up and hopped into the passenger seat of the jeep. He turned to JB, his smile cracking through his hard expression.

“Why don’t you just tell him you love him already, gosh.” JB mocked, “You guys disgust me. I’m so jealous.”

“The ‘L’ word scares me, you know that.” Jackson said, turning his attention away from JB’s stare. “I like Mark. I like how we are, right now. No pressure.”

JB began to drive off, heading for BamBam’s party.

“Alright, fair enough., you hate love. Everyone knows that. But you know you can’t let your ex ruin every relationship from here on out.” JB was beginning to sound like the best friend that he was.

“Please… don’t mention _him._ ” Jackson rolled his eyes and looked out the window.

_ Him _ being Jinyoung. The two had a lengthy and… complicated relationship. At least that’s what every single person who knew them called it.

“He’s going to be there tonight, you know BamBam is friends with him. He’s friends with everyone.” JB warned, looking concerned.

“Seriously? Why didn’t you mention that?!” Jackson shot out, his eyes wide and angered.

“Look, we don’t have to go. I can turn around right now. We can just go to a bar or my place or something.” JB was startled at Jackson’s sudden tone. “I didn’t say anything because I thought you wouldn’t wanna come. Plus, I think it’s good for you to be able to see him and not get all… you know, about the whole thing.”

Jackson cracked his knuckles and let out an exaggerated sigh. He looked upset, but he was calming down.

“Let’s just go. I don’t if he’s there.” Jackson said coldly. “I have to face him sooner or later.”

“It’s been almost a year since you guys broke up, I’m sure you’re both way passed it and nothing will happen.” JB said, trying to be positive.

The pair of boys finally pulled up to a large brick townhouse, there were cars lined all up the street, presumably for the party. The sound of music was booming through the front door and the windows, mixed with the chatter and the loud commotion of the party goers.

“Here, let’s drink this before we go in.” JB pulled a small bottle of whiskey from his glove compartment, cracked it open and handed it to Jackson with a cheeky grin on his face.

“Um, I’m not even gonna ask.” Jackson shook his head, taking the bottle from him. He held the drink up to JB with a quick nod and then shot back two gulps, a painful grimace coming over his face as he swallowed down.

“Good ole liquid courage…” JB laughed, taking the drink from Jackson and following suit. They passed it back a few times until the bottle was completely gone, then headed into the house.

When they entered, they notice that there were about 70 people or so in the medium sized house. BamBam met them at the door, he was wearing a zebra print blazer and a gold choker on his neck. His hair was hot pink and his shoes were leather and pointed.

“Gentleman..” he said happily, giving each one of the boys a European greeting with a kiss on each cheek. “Thanks for coming.”

Jackson smiled back, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“By the way…” BamBam leaned in and lowered his voice to a whisper, “Sorry about inviting Jinyoung. I just added a bunch of people off Facebook automatically, he just happened to be in there. You know I wouldn’t trap you both here after all that happened in June.”

Jackson half smiled and nodded genuinely, “It’s okay, really. I don’t care anyway. I’m just going to have fun.”

“That’s the spirit!” JB shouted, patting the two boys on the shoulder. “Now, Bam, where’s all your booze and your female friends?”

BamBam gestured toward the dining room where a large table filled with alcohol was stationed; he took JB by the arm and led them in. A few girls were smiling in their general direction, which JB no doubt took notice of right away.

Jackson took his leather jacket off and hung it on a free chair that was next to the table. He sat down and took a deep breath, eyeing the room for any familiar faces.

It wasn’t more than two minutes before a deep, sweet voice interrupted him.

_ “This seat taken?” _

Jackson looked up, it was Jinyoung. He was motioning towards the empty chair beside Jackson with a hopeful gaze.

Jackson froze. 

It had been eight months since they last saw each other in person. Eight months of Jackson not taking his calls, blocking him on all social media, and generally avoiding him.

But there was nowhere for Jackson to run now.

“I think JB was going to join me…” Jackson mumbled, running a nervous had through his black straight hair.

Jinyoung raised his eyebrow, turned his face toward JB, who was entertaining two pretty girls on the opposite side of the room, then looked back at Jackson.

“Think he’s a little preoccupied at the moment, I’m sure he won’t mind.” Jinyoung said almost seductively.

Jackson got shivers as Jinyoung scooted the chair closer so that their knees were almost touching. Even though he hated Jinyoung for being manipulative and controlling, he couldn’t deny how much he missed the smell of his cologne and the feelings of danger and excitement that Jinyoung seemed to always bring him.

“How are you?” he asked lowly, sipping the vodka cran he had in his red solo cup.

Jackson wanted to punch him in the face right then and there.

_ How was I? _ he thought with a furrowed brow.

Jackson recalled the day he caught Jinyoung snooping through his cell-phone while he was in the shower; he had memorized the passwords to Jackson’s social media accounts as well, and would regularly scour the message threads for any signs of infidelity.

He reminded himself then as well, of the time Jinyoung thought that he was flirting with the waiter, and abandoned him on one of their dinner dates, leaving Jackson with the bill and forcing him to take public transit all the way home.

“I’m fine.” Jackson said back, coldly.

“You look good.” Jinyoung lulled, smiling devilishly at Jackson who was doing his best to look away.

Jackson knew that in coming to the party, he risked running into his ex, but he didn’t expect it to happen this quickly, especially since he hadn’t even had a drink yet.

“Look, I’m too sober to do this right now.” Jackson finally said, breaking the tension. He stood up and walked to the table for a drink. Jinyoung followed slowly behind.

Jackson was busy filling a cup with ice when Jinyoung leaned against the edge of the table next to him.

“Are you single, still?” he pressed, looking Jackson in the eyes wondersome.

Jackson gritted his teeth and poured himself a stiff shot of whiskey.

“Oh c’mon, you can tell me if you’re seeing anyone.” Jinyoung laughed lightly at Jackson’s apparent anger.

Jackson shot the glass back without a flinch and wiped his mouth.

“It’s none of your business, _Junior._ ” He spit out and walked away, knowing full well Jinyoung hated that nickname.

Jackson met up again with JB who was now showing the two women some dance moves; that was his ace of spades – JB was the best dancer that Jackson knew, and he used the skill at every chance he got.

The girls were fawning all over him, one of them had her arm around his waist in a semi-hug, the other was smiling like a goof at JB’s description of the dance.

“Oh, hey Jacks!” he called out when he noticed Jackson awkwardly sipping at his drink next to them.

“Ladies, this is my buddy Jackson.” He proudly said, waving toward Jackson who shyly tipped his glass to them. “Don’t get any ideas though, he bats for the other team.”

Jackson giggled, JB was always worried that someday his potential hookups would like Jackson more. There was something about a gay man that the straight girls just found so intriguing, and JB knew it, so he always prefaced his introductions with that cautionary note.

“How about we all have a shot?!” One of the girls screamed out, pulling at Jackson’s jacket for him to join them.

“Let’s do it!” JB said, giving a look at Jackson that was tell-tale of his excitement. He knew these girls were a fun time. 

“Sure” Jackson conceded, letting the girl drag him along. 

She poured eight shots out, handing two to each person. 

“Have you guys ever double fisted?” she smiled, holding up two shots of tequila. “You have to take both as quick as you can, no chasers!”

Jackson groaned, he hated tequila, the smell of it alone made him want to hurl. But he cheers the group and swallowed the two shots as quick as he could before his gag reflex kicked in.

*

After an hour of drinking games and embarrassing dancing, Jackson was really starting to feel it. JB was in a corner making out with the prettier of the two girls, meanwhile Jackson was doing his best to convince the other that he in fact _was_ gay, and that that meant he didn’t want much else than friendship from her.

Eventually she gave up, pouted a little, then stumbled off into the crowd of people to find another suiter. Jackson laughed a little, relieved he didn’t have to deal with that anymore.

It was about eleven thirty when he received a text from Mark.

**Mark Tuan:** Hey handsome, I’m sleeping at the hospital tonight. Just wanted to text you to say goodnight, and I hope you’re having fun and are being safe~ xo

Jackson’s cheeks burned hot, and it wasn’t from just the alcohol. He was doing such a good job at not being glued to his phone pathetically, thinking of Mark, that he was over the moon with happiness when the other boy finally messaged him.

It was a feeling that he, in his year long relationship with Jinyoung, had seldom felt: affection. 

**Jackson Wang:** Having lots of fun surprisingly. I miss you, though. Wish you could be here. Hope you are feeling better.

**Mark Tuan:** My mom is making her some ancient Chinese remedies, so I think she’ll be feeling better in no time. I miss you too, Jacks. Let’s hang out tomorrow, k? Dimsum?

**Jackson Wang:** I’d love that. Sleep tight, my dimsum ;)

**Mark Tuan:** Night, get home safe. :P

“Who’s Mark?” a low, drunken voice questioned behind Jackson.

Jackson didn’t need to turn around to know it was Jinyoung, he was smiling sarcastically, clearly out of it, and smelled like beer.

“Like I said, none of your business.” Jackson said, trying to push passed him.

Jinyoung wasn’t the biggest guy, but when he put a stern hand on Jackson’s shoulder, the other boy couldn’t move at all.

“What are you doing?” Jackson growled, staring directly into Jinyoung’s half lidded gaze. “Let me go.”

Jinyoung released him, but not before making a comment about Mark.

“I bet you’ll cheat on him. Poor boy, doesn’t even know what you’re _really_ like.” Jinyoung was almost slurring at this point, but Jackson could hear him loud and clear even through the loud music.

“Shut the fuck up.” Jackson rumbled, unamused. “I’m not playing this game with you.”

“You’re going to do the same thing you did to me to him, won’t you?” Jinyoung was taunting Jackson now, looking for a reaction. “You had me constantly worried about who you were with. That’s not what a boyfriend should be doing.”

“You and I both know it was all in your head, Jinyoung. You’re delusional, and spent most of our relationship drunk, accusing me of stuff I wasn’t doing, just like you are at this very moment.” Jackson said, pushing past him finally.

“Don’t come crawling back to me when he eventually dumps you.” Jinyoung said with a weak laugh as Jackson walked away.

Jackson shot a look back, “I ended things between us for a reason, and haven’t reached out at all since then. You don’t need to worry about me coming back to you – I won’t – and don’t you dare poke your evil presence into my personal life ever again, you’ll regret it.” He threatened with a serious look.

“What’s going on here?” JB said, interjecting with a hand on Jackson’s shoulder, clearly concerned.

“Nothing.” Jackson shot out, “Jinyoung was just telling me how he’s leaving.”

“Kiss my ass, Jackson.” Jinyoung shouted back, flipping the two boys off.

“Yeah you’d like that, wouldn’t you Jinyoung?” JB stepped in with his chest pushed out, “Why don’t you go home and shave your back or something?”

Jinyoung was drunk, but he wasn’t stupid. He took his drink and walked away with an unimpressed scoff.

“I knew this was a mistake.” Jackson whispered to himself, reaching for the whiskey that JB had in his cup. He quickly shot back the entire drink.

“Dude, that was like… a triple.” JB warned, “Buckle up, Jackson. You’re in for a headache tomorrow.”

“Nah.” Jackson replied, filling the glass back up. “I already have a headache, his name starts with a ‘J’ and ends with an ‘inyoung’.”

“Let’s dance. I wanna see if your liquid courage has helped your spaghetti legs.” JB said, knowing he needed to get Jackson’s mind off of drama.

He led the two of them to the dance floor, the girl following behind like a small dog.

*

At around 2AM the music lowered in an abrupt way. BamBam entered the room and turned the lights on. Everyone squinted and shielded their faces from the harsh lights.

“You guys don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here. I need my beauty sleep.” He shouted, waking the people up who had fallen asleep on the couch. “Make sure you don’t drink and drive. And don’t steal anything from my house or I’ll find out and murder you.”

JB giggled and flung an arm over his date. “Shall we?” he asked, winking at her. She smiled shyly and nodded.

“I’ll call the cab. We’ll drop you off at home first though, Jacks.” He said, tapping Jackson on the back.

“Wow, I’ve never seen Jackson this hammed. He alright?” BamBam chortled, point at Jackson who was still dancing by himself even without the music.

“He’s fine…” JB reassured him. “He has been drinking to get his mind off of… well… you know who.”

BamBam rolled his eyes and began to round up the empty bottles that were lying everywhere. “I should’ve just uninvited that asshole.” He mumbled, talking about Jinyoung.

“Where’s the afterparty?” Jackson slurred, sweating from his forehead from dancing so much.

“You need to sleep.” JB said, rubbing Jackson’s dishevelled hair. “C’mon our cab is on its way.”

“You’re no fun.” Jackson said, having to lean on JB’s shoulder in order to keep himself walking straight.

BamBam walked the trio to the door and said his goodbyes as they grabbed their coats.

“Make sure he gets home safely. Thanks for coming.” BamBam whispered, patting Jackson’s head. The boy was nearly falling asleep standing up, while JB forced him into his leather jacket.

“We’ll be fine. See ya man.” JB said, leading them out the door.

When the cab arrived JB tossed Jackson into the front seat while he led his lady to the back where they would have more room to get touchy. He gave the driver the address and let Jackson rest his head against the window, singing random songs to himself quietly, clearly hammered.

Ten minutes later the cab arrived at Jackson’s apartment. JB took it upon himself to help Jackson to the door. He pulled the drunk boy’s keys out of his pocket and let himself in. When he was finally at Jackson’s living room, he put the boy onto the couch and laid him down.

Quickly, he filled a tall glass of water and retrieved two Advil from the medicine cupboard and placed them on the coffee table in front of Jackson.

“Text me when you wake from this zombie slumber, you mad man.” JB laughed, patting Jackson on the shoulder.

“Thanks.” Is all Jackson pouted back, leaning his head back into the couch.

It wasn’t until JB left, and he heard the sound of the door shutting that Jackson realized just how alone he was. The air was still and the light was dim.

His head was spinning and his cheeks were still fuzzy from the alcohol. He leaned back into the couch, close to sleep, but not before his mind wandered to the one person who made everything worth it: Mark.

With a sleepy motion, Jackson laid his head down and clicked Mark’s name on his phone, dialing the boy’s number. He closed his eyes and listened to the ring tone dial.

“ _Hey it’s Mark, my phone’s either dead or I’m just ignoring you, haha. Leave me a message!”_

Jackson wasn’t expecting a voicemail. He wasn’t expecting anything, actually. He had absolutely no plan going into this. 

He had only been dating Mark for two months, and it was downright embarrassing of him to be drunk dialing him right now.

_ “Uhh” Jackson breathed out, “Hey… um.. it’s me. Jackson. Hey. I’m just calling to say goodnight. I know I already did tell you goodnight when you texted me earlier. But I wanted to say it again to you… hic… even though you are probably already sleeping. I should be sleeping too, honestly. But yeah… I don’t know… I miss you.”  _

Just then Jackson’s voice broke, and the tough brave face he had worn all night in the midst of Jinyoung’s constant attacks broke down. He couldn’t fake it anymore.

He was a scared, shell of himself when he was with Jinyoung. Everyone could see it. Jackson was walking on eggshells the entire time, worried he would upset his boyfriend, scared of getting yelled at or berated. He knew he had made a mistake in falling for Jinyoung, but it was his first love, and even though there was a million reasons for him to leave, he stuck around hoping it would get better. 

It never did.

Now that he was experiencing what it feels like to be actually cared about, lusted after, and cherished, he didn’t know what to do with himself.

_ “Yeah… I miss you, that’s it. Plain and simple. I know I sound drunk… hic. Truuusttt me, I’m not that drunk. I promise. I wish you came with me tonight. I could show you off to my friends. They would love you just as much as I love you.” _

Jackson froze. His voice shaky a little bit. It just came out, he wasn’t even sure what he was saying anymore. 

For a split second he thought of hanging up, then he considered saying “just kidding!” afterward, but he did neither.

He thought of all the times he told Jinyoung that he loved him, only to have Jinyoung say something along the lines of “yeah, you too.” He often questioned if Jinyoung really ever _did_ love him back. A part of him knew the answer was no, and it stung.

But it also made Jackson proud to have Mark. For the first time he knew without a shadow of a doubt that his heart was safe – and that by saying he loved Mark – he wouldn’t be setting himself up to get hurt.

_“Yeah, I just wanted to say how much I missed you. Call me when you wake up, I can’t wait to take my dimsum for dimsum. And Mark… I really do love you... Goodnight.”_

He hung up and laid his phone on the table next to the water, lying completely back into the couch.

He was close to sleep when he heard a buzz from his phone three minutes later. He poked his head over and reached for his phone in the dark, assuming it was JB checking in on him.

Jackson lifted the phone and swiped it open. It wasn’t JB at all, it was a message from Mark.

Jackson swallowed down and trembled as he opened the message. 

**Mark Tuan:** Hey. Just woke up. Got your voice mail. You’re so silly.

Jackson’s heart was beating considerably faster. He felt his smile coming back and his heart warming, but it wasn’t from the alcohol this time, it was because a few seconds later Mark followed the message up with another before Jackson could respond:

**Mark Tuan:** I love you too, Jackson.

 


	2. Prompt 2

`2. Sigh it into her mouth, wedged in between teeth and tongues. Don’t even let your lips move when you say it, ever so lightly, into the air. Maybe it was just an exhalation of ecstasy.`

⇔

  
  
“You don’t have to do this.” Jackson’s voice was empty, and lacked the sort of conviction and guilt that you would expect from your boyfriend if he cheated on you.  
Mark’s determination didn’t falter one bit; he slammed the maroon suitcase onto the bed, flung it open, and began to toss random articles of clothing into it, all while Jackson leaned against the doorway watching helplessly.  
The couple had, for a while, been going through what Mark described as a “rough patch.” Of course, Mark was alone in that feeling.  
But… Jackson was just being Jackson, he thought; oblivious, blissfully ignorant, and a little bit selfish.  
“They’re called EXES for a reason, babe. I dumped him for a _reason_ , it’s over between us.” It was the same old trope, and definitely not the first time they’d had this conversation. Mark was starting to really get sick of it.  
Although they’d only been dating a few months, Jackson used the “L” word a number of times with Mark; at first it was confusing, because Mark had never been in love before, he wasn’t sure what it was, what it felt like, and when he’d even know if he was actually in love.  
“I haven’t even talked to BamBam in weeks, I swear.” Jackson was groaning by this point, becoming inpatient himself as he watched Mark stuff his laptop and a few pairs of socks into the suitcase.  
Mark wasn’t an idiot - sure they were broken up, and sure he claimed he hadn’t spoken with his ex in ‘weeks’ - Mark knew the truth.  
It was the way that Jacskson spoke of him: under all of the disdain, and underneath the anger and regret, there was a hint of pride.  
“Just the fact that you even call him that tells me you’re not over him.” Mark finally spoke, and it was partially under his breath, and his eyes never met Jackson’s. “You’re the only person who calls him that. His name’s Kunpimook, everyone knows BamBam was the name you gave him after your first date.”  
Jackson sighed and tossed his head back, defeated. Mark had hit a soft spot.  
“Fine. Whatever.” Jackson conceded, leaving the room to give Mark space.  
It was possibly the worst thing that Jackson could have said, to not argue back, to not fight for him to stay. Even if it wasn’t helping, and wouldn’t stop Mark, it was important to Mark to know he cared enough to.  
Now, in the absence of Jackson, the weight of Mark’s decision to break up was starting to sink into his skin, and invade his eyes. Tears began to form slowly, wetting his eyelashes, Mark blinked a few times quickly to try and stifle them, but it was useless.  
With a lump in his throat, eyes red and puffed, Mark wheeled the small suitcase from the room and into the hallway where Jackson was sitting silently on the floor.  
Mark gritted his teeth, his jaw flexing tightly in an attempt to maintain a brave face as he walked past his now ex lover.  
Before Mark reached the door, Jackson’s hand, gripped tightly onto the arm of Mark’s jacket, stopped him. Jackson’s hand was cold now, but familiar still, and so… so soft.  
For a moment Mark considered tossing the suitcase to the side and collapsing into Jackson’s arms, but although every fibre of his heart craved it, his mind was the one winning that battle.  
Mark knew he needed to do this, not because he wanted to leave Jackson. Not because he was sick of Jackson. Not because he needed space, or wanted to take a break, no.  
It was because being Jackson’s boyfriend was almost like a novelty title; Mark had become “the one after BamBam.” He was the “other boy.”  
He had become what people, even if they didn’t mean to, compared to BamBam. Mark was a bright light of his own, but was trapped in the shadow of someone that had enough power to influence Jackson’s mood for the day with a simple text message. And deep down it killed Mark to know that fact.  
Jackson’s grip was tight and hopeful, but there was almost a palpable sadness in the air between them.  
Mark turned slowly, almost scared to stare into stare into Jackson’s eyes, but he did. Mark’s eyes were a flurry of golds and a tinge of red, his stare was warm, inviting, and everything that initially attracted Mark to him.  
“Please, don’t do this.” Jackson’s voice was almost a whisper, his eyes searching deeply into Mark’s to find a hint of leverage, something that he could use, something that whispered back that it wasn’t over, there was still hope.  
Mark’s eyes were still glimmering with tears, and his heart was breaking with every second their eyes lingered.  
“ _Please._ ” Jackson repeated, it was evident by the crack in his voice he was losing hope rapidly, too. He pulled Mark hesitantly towards him, pulling him into a last embrace.  
Mark, for the first time in his life, felt the sting of heartbreak. There was, without a fraction of doubt, proof that he loved Jackson. Because as they shared their embrace, Mark’s quivering lips reached out gently to meet Jackson’s.  
It would be a lie to say Mark wasn’t the happiest he’d been that whole week, in the arms of Jackson, even if just for a moment.  
Mark pressed into Jackson’s mouth, his lips soft and yearning, as if Jackson contained the answer somewhere in his mouth, as if Mark could solve the entire situation with a kiss. It was worth a shot, he thought.  
Jackson’s heart was filled with a flicker of hope just then, kissing Mark one more time, tasting the boy he had tried so hard to convince over the last few months that he cared for.  
Their kiss was so sweet, but conflicting and the longer Mark kissed Jackson, the more sure he was that it would hurt to leave. With every second that past by, where Mark was kissing onto Jackson’s lips, caressing theirs together, his fragile strength, and brave face was starting to break down before his own eyes.

  
_“I love you…”_

  
The words were mostly a sigh, tangled in the kiss, woven between the exhaling of air and the very soft wet noises their lips made. It was Mark’s voice, but it was unfamiliar even to Mark that he had said it; maybe it was an exhalation of ecstasy, or a sad realization, too little too late.  
“What?” Jackson interrupted their kiss to ask, his hands still holding Mark’s arms on each side.  
“I have to go now.” Mark turned away, breaking the embrace. He sniffled and shook his head, taking himself out of the tender moment, turning away as fast as he could to prevent Jackson from seeing any tears fall.  
“Wait!” Jackson pleaded, pulling Mark back around when the latter opened the front door to the apartment. Mark was yanked around and was face to face with Jackson for one last time, only for a brief moment of haste and trepidation.  
“Goodbye, Jacks.” He was serious in his tone, although it sounded like he had to convince even himself that it was actually happening. And with that he exited Jackson’s apartment, closing the door behind him without waiting for a response.  
He didn’t need one, the unmistakable scent of BamBam’s cologne on Jackson’s neck was the answer he needed, the one he didn’t know he was searching for when he kissed his boyfriend for the last time.


End file.
